Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
