It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
