You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
