Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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