I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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