I don't think brook has ever known best
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
