i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
