i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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