Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
