The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
