I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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