I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
