its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
