R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
