i don't like sucking hair
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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