what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
