oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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