you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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