i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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