If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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