her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
