hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
