Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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