sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
