It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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