lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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