Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
