Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
