I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You are a genius and a whore.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
