Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
