Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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