I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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