Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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