I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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