O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
