Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
false alarm, still single
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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