Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
When did angry sex become our thing?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
