i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
