i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
