i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
