I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
