I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
