Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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