Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
