do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
