Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
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