i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
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