In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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