i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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