Me too!
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Randomize
