You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
