This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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