Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Randomize
